As a young child growing up in the 60s there were things that excited me.
The drive-in theaters, car hops, Christmas (yes Ebeneezer Grinch was excited by Christmas as a child), Easter, July 4th, Thanksgiving (in fact all the holidays), my birthdays, School, summer vacation , Vacation Bible School, Ice Cream trucks, Baseball games at Ernie Shore Field, The Dixie Classic Fair, and just riding in the car with my family, while perched on the “hump,” elbows on the back of the front seat, and watching the world go by through the front windshield. (back before the government found the revenue stream in mandatory seat-belt laws) Times were simpler and there was still a little wonder and awe left in the world.
This was back in the day before the lawyers and licensing fees killed using nationally recognized characters in local advertising runs. You can see a nod to that in the movie, “A Christmas Story” where the “Wonderful World of OZ” characters get in a tiff with Mickey Mouse and Disney Characters in the Parade. In the 60s you could see plenty of it in local advertising. It was a tit-for-tat where the local guy got some recognition from using a nationally known character and the parent company got free publicity for their characters which they re-released every eight or nine years. Which brings us to the item at hand.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was re-released in 1967. I was 4 years old at the time and I don’t remember if I saw it at the Drive-in or the indoor theater. But it was about that time that the houses, and plywood cut-outs of Snow White and the Dwarfs showed up in a clearing at the corner of Silas Creek Pkwy and Reynolda Rd. I remember I would get so excited to see them when we drove out that way. Eventually it became a yearly Christmas tradition for our family to go drive by and see the little houses decked out for Christmas. There was a Blue house, a Yellow house, I believe a Red on and a Green one?? or maybe one of them was white? Any-who, it was a landmark in Winston-Salem in the late 60s – early 70s.
This past fall I caught a glimpse of them one day when driving down Reynolda Road and told myself I needed to stop in and document what I could before they were torn down or completely rotted away. Today I made it a point to stop and go take some pics. I parked over in Reynolda Village and crossed Reynolda Road at one of the busiest times of the day but it didn’t matter, I was on a mission to visit a piece of my childhood 46 years after the fact.
It was surreal as I stood there looking at the little houses that had so fascinated me as a little boy. As I took photos the memories of those drive by encounters with the houses and characters I had seen as a child kept flooding my memories. Now, here I was visiting them for the first time almost a half century later. I was a bit shocked, and excited to see one lone character still keeping guard over the little buildings, a Christmas choir boy. It was as if live wire was laid across my memories recharging them and given them new life. There he was, just as I remembered the Christmas scene from so long ago. I did not disturb him. I merely captured him for posterity.
These days, I find myself reminiscing more and more. I have more days behind me than I do ahead and my mind seeks refuge from the storms of modernity. I know I can’t go back but I find comfort in the past… my past. Times were just a bad, but our response to them was different. I wasn’t old enough at the time to understand Viet Nam, the Civil Rights movement, and the sexual revolution. I only knew my family and the good times we shared in taking a simple drive every so often to view and to share in the art of someone’s handiwork, who had created a visual fantasy that a small boy found joy in seeing… and an old man enjoyed finally meeting face to face.
Posted in Childhood, Just Thinking, life, Memories, Nostalgia, Thinking, Visual Art | Tagged Childhood, Memories, Nostalgia, reminiscing | Leave a Comment »
It was like going back in time, that’s only the 2nd time I’ve been back there in 38 years. The memories were so thick I couldn’t process it all, I was overwhelmed. Standing there on the soil that had shaped so much of my childhood. I could hear the sounds of days gone by, smell the hot dogs cooking at the snack bar, hear the banter on the fields, feel my cleats digging in at the plate, the pitch, the swing, the ring of my favorite old red, aluminum bat as it made contact, the feel of it, knowing I got all of that one as I head down the line towards first. So many Saturdays were spent on those fields. I got choked up seeing they honored my old coach, Bob Dalton, by naming the complex after him.
So many memories both good and bad flood my head. The feelings that accompany those memories are coming at me to fast to process. I stand there under the now giant oak trees and remember they were only saplings back then. My dad stood along the fence over there and… I have to leave before I start crying. Everyone knows there’s no crying in baseball. It’s all I can do to choke back the memories, and the emotions that accompany them.
To my son, I apologize for being so damned selfish, and disguising it as righteous holier-than-thou religious bullshit in not allowing you to have the memories I have from playing baseball. I hope you can forgive such a selfish old man.
Posted in Baseball, Family, Just Thinking, life, Memories, Nostalgia, Thinking, Uncategorized | Tagged Baseball, Memories, reminiscing, Saturdays in the park | Leave a Comment »
I just did, I had a freaking crap storm of them.
It just dawned on me that in my youth I never expected to live to see my 35th Birthday so I never planned on anything after that. Nothing.
No financial plan, no career plan, no retirement plan. Just work until I die… so, according to my original calculations I should have not made it to 35. Then my adjusted calculations said I’d never make 45 since my dad died at 44. Yeah, that came and went as well. The final calculations begin this year when I hit 54, the same as as my Grandfather when he died. (and please, nobody give me the whole “it’s in God’s hands” spiel. I know it as well as anyone because I’m still freaking here)
Yep, here I am. Here I am…indeed.
Funny how life doesn’t go according to plan eh?
Epiphany #2 is this: If things are never going to change.. why waste the effort in attempting to make a change? (and please spare me the the self-help, self actualizing crap about, “Only YOU can prevent forest fires” philosophy. Nope, don’t believe that any longer either.)
Time is not on my side, there is more behind me now than there is in front of me, and all the best is in the rear view. There may be some good days here and there in what’s ahead but, it will be neither quantity nor quality and that’s just the facts. That’s not pity talking, it is reality. And that was Epiphany #3.
So, here’s to the days ahead. I know not what they bring. I’ll face them one at a time, and make the most of what is left, with what I have left. A job (yeah ,yeah, yeah… I’m thankful for it… but I hate it) that sucks the joy out of me. A neglected body that will probably never recover from the damage done to this point. And an attitude (and PLEASE don’t lecture me about attitude and how I can change it! I’ve lived with it this long so I’m f-ing comfortable with it.) I tried to reprogram for the past four years and I’m just tired of trying. Life’s too short to eat crab legs… too much effort and not enough reward. Just do what is comfortable and hope for the best.
And that’s it for now. I’m just weary, bone freaking weary.
Posted in gobbledygook, Just Thinking, life, Livable philosophy, pudder, Shadows, Thinking, Time and effort, Toxic Faith, Uncategorized, Worldviews | Tagged acceptance, aging, attitude, lack of planning, self, time | Leave a Comment »
The morning air was a nearly perfect sixty-five degrees with only a slight breeze. Ideal conditions to be out on the road. A day worth remembering. I hate I have lost so much of my sense of smell as I would love to capture the aroma of this early fall day in my memory bank as well.
I’m asking things of my body that it doesn’t like especially since it still has too much weight to be carrying around. The body is fighting against itself and the mind, while the soul is just weary of it all.
Yet even amidst the turmoil within me I am struck by a moment of grand beauty. In the middle of a pain concert raging in my feet, legs, back and lungs I stop for a moment to watch a squadron of maple leaves launch from their branch and be carried along on a gentle current. Watching as they spiral down in the morning sunlight. Twirling and twisting in a death dance celebration of their short life. The sun spotlighting them, highlighting their performance.
For that brief moment time seemed to stop and allow me to take it in. The sound of the leaves rustling on the trees, the feel of sun on my skin, the breeze gently caressing my face. A moment of pure beauty in the midst of an internal storm. A reminder that no matter how out of control things seem to get, there is hope because there is beauty. Because there is beauty I know there is love.
Because there is love… I have hope.
Posted in Dance, Just Thinking, Sunday mornings, Thinking | Tagged Beauty, Hope, image, Life | Leave a Comment »
My story would begin in darkness though not total darkness but not romantic moonlit darkness either. It would be more the darkness that accompanies a storm. The kind that diffuses the the light and casts strange shadows across the land. The kind that causes the street lamps to come on at mid-day.
I stand at the gate looking out at the road that lies before me, uncertain which direction to go from here. Do I open the gate and step through? Or do I run back to the porch and ride out the storm in the relative comfort of the crumbling structure I am seeking to escape? Do I stay until the bitter end?
I stand at the gate and look back. Indecision has me paralyzed and the storm is increasing in intensity. I feel the wind at my back and it causes me to shiver. I adjust my collar and huddle down to make myself a smaller target for the chill breeze and once again turn to look at the road before me just a step beyond the gate.
I stand at the gate and my eyes search for any sign of direction. Off in the distance I see rays of sunlight that quickly retreat into shadow as I watch, teasing me with hope that is transient and elusive. I’m too old to go chasing after “maybes” and “what-ifs.” I need a sure thing. Yet I realize how unreasonable and unrealistic that standard is. There are no “sure things” and to make that a requirement will only keep me paralyzed with indecision.
I stand at the gate…
Posted in Just Thinking, life, Livable philosophy, Questions, Shadows, Sound and Fury, Thinking, Time and effort | Tagged image | Leave a Comment »