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Last night I had two Poblamo peppers (out of the garden) stuffed with three cheeses. Cheddar, White cheese sauce and Pepper Jack… enough heat to get my nose to running. (of course lunch was sushi and wasabi mmmm, the wasabi and ginger brought tears to my eyes… it was soooo good) So, the peppers were merely to bookend an already spicy day.

Now, I thought that maybe being able to step out of the 44’s from the other night might have been wishful thinking on my part… Au contraire, mon frère.  Yesterday afternoon I wanted to install an odometer on my bike but I was feeling lazy so I just threw on a pair of shorts without a belt. They are 46s and I wrestled with them all afternoon trying to keep them “up.”

(stay with me and I’ll tie those two random stories together)

So, all afternoon I had been wrestling with my pants because I was too lazy to get a belt and put it on.  After much gyrating and “hiking” my shorts into position, I finally finished the odometer installation.  A little later, I felt a twinge of hunger so  I began fixing my dinner.   Preparing dinner was a “Keystone Cops” process last night as I waddled back and forth between the computer and the oven, checking the time and the condition of the peppers and surfing the interwebz.   I alternately looked  like a hip-hop, saggy-pants, gangsta’ and “Dorf on Cooking.” I swear, one time I even looked like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins during the penguin scene.

Anyway, the peppers were finally done and I sat down to eat.  Yes, they were very good!  I “can” cook when I take a mind to. Afterwards, I cleared the table and put everything away in the sink. My nose was running just a little from the heat of the meal so I grabbed a paper towel and stepped into the utility room to blow my nose. I reached up with both hands and trumpeted a hearty Bb.

When I did…

…my (46) shorts fell straight down and landed on my feet around my ankles. Very glad I didn’t go blow my nose in the living room!   So, there I was, with my pants on the floor …but my sinuses were clear.

Sometimes I crack myself up!
There’s no real moral to the story… I really just wanted to brag on my disappearing waistline. 🙂

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Again if your sensibilities are easily offended then you may pass on this one.

 

You have been warned.

 

 

 

So it began:

 

Got up this am and took my shower, and there were no problems with the shampoo bottle or anything this morning.  Dressed and went to church.  After church we went out to eat.  Since I missed breakfast before church, due to taking a shower,  We had brunch at Golden Corral.  Loaded up on proteins and had a few carbs (should have skipped the carbs altogether but oh well.)  The highlight of breakfast was the elixir of life, that warm, brown/black, life-giving substance commonly referred to as “Coffee.”    I wanted the waiter to leave the pot but alas, to no avail.

 

After Brunch we went to the movies.  Despicable Me 2 was today’s entertainment du jour.

Upon arriving my bladder signaled the brain that it was time to pay the rent on the coffee consumed earlier.  The brain acknowledged the bladder signal and directed the legs to the nearest public facilities for relief.

 

As the legs brought the body nearer to its destination hanging on the wall, the brain lines the body up to execute the now, more urgent evacuation.  All hands were on deck busy with the mission of bladder relief and assisting in freeing the evacuation unit.  The outer layers were successfully breached with only the inner layer left.  This is where things began to go wrong.

 

The bladder has now signaled it is at DEFCON 3 and is declaring an emergency evacuation while the hands are feverishly searching for the opening that will release the emergency flow device.  They search left, they feel around to the right, all to no avail.  The opening is not to be found.  The brain is in a frenzy to answer the bladder’s now insistent calls for evacuation.  The brain even began searching archives for secret passwords that open magically hidden doors.  The Doors to Moria came to mind….

What was the riddle?

“…speak friend and enter”  or in this case “exit.”

“Ok, Friend where are you?  Oh F-r-i-e-n-d?

Wait what is the Elvish word for friend…. Oh yeah…. “Bel-ach”

The bladder is going to DEFCON 4 and we are in a full blown crisis!

How about, “Open Sesame”?  No?

“Open Sez me?” No?

 

Slowly a thought germinates in the back of my mind.  Growing quickly it blossoms into an idea!

Could it be?

Could it be that simple?

 

The hands stop their frantic searching and swiftly move to the waistband.  Upon arriving they hook the waistband and pull it forward.

There it was.

Before me I saw the Fruit of the Loom guys looking up at me with tears of laughter streaming down their collective faces.  My underwear was on backwards!

 

The day was saved, the bladder crisis was averted and the face began to tense up as it always does just before a smile breaks out and covers my features.

 

Sometimes I crack myself up.  *Snicker

 

On the way out the door I heard the rumbling of someone starting a Harley in one of the stalls down the way and thought to myself, “Merlin’s beard! …

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Graham’s Magazine, March, 1846

Some Frenchman–possibly Montaigne–says: “People talk about thinking, but for my part I never think except when I sit down to write.” It is this never thinking, unless when we sit down to write, which is the cause of so much indifferent composition. But perhaps there is something more involved in the Frenchman’s observation than meets the eye. It is certain that the mere act of inditing tends, in a great degree, to the logicalisation of thought. Whenever, on account of its vagueness, I am dissatisfied with a conception of the brain, I resort forthwith to the pen, for the purpose of obtaining, through its aid, the necessary form, consequence, and precision.

How very commonly we hear it remarked that such and such thoughts are beyond the compass of words! I do not believe that any thought, properly so called, is out of the reach of language. I fancy, rather, that where difficulty in expression is experienced, there is, in the intellect which experiences it, a want either of deliberateness or of method. For my own part, I have never had a thought which I could not set down in words, with even more distinctness than that with which I conceived it:–as I have before observed, the thought is logicalised by the effort at (written) expression.

There is, however, a class of fancies, of exquisite delicacy, which are not thoughts, and to which, as yet, I have found it absolutely impossible to adapt language. I use the word fancies at random, and merely because I must use some word; but the idea commonly attached to the term is not even remotely applicable to the shadows of shadows in question. They seem to me rather psychal than intellectual. They arise in the soul (alas, how rarely!) only at its epochs of most intense tranquillity–when the bodily and mental health are in perfection–and at those mere points of time where the confines of the waking world blend with those of the world of dreams. I am aware of these “fancies” only when I am upon the very brink of sleep, with the consciousness that I am so. I have satisfied myself that this condition exists but for an inappreciable point of time–yet it is crowded with these “shadows of shadows”; and for absolute thought there is demanded time’s endurance.

These “fancies” have in them a pleasurable ecstasy, as far beyond the most pleasurable of the world of wakefulness, or of dreams, as the Heaven of the Northman theology is beyond its Hell. I regard the visions, even as they arise, with an awe which, in some measure moderates or tranquillises the ecstasy–I so regard them, through a conviction (which seems a portion of the ecstasy itself) that this ecstasy, in itself, is of a character supernal to the Human Nature–is a glimpse of the spirit’s outer world; and I arrive at this conclusion–if this term is at all applicable to instantaneous intuition–by a perception that the delight experienced has, as its element, but the absoluteness of novelty. I say the absoluteness- for in the fancies–let me now term them psychal impressions–there is really nothing even approximate in character to impressions ordinarily received. It is as if the five senses were supplanted by five myriad others alien to mortality.

Now, so entire is my faith in the power of words, that at times I have believed it possible to embody even the evanescence of fancies such as I have attempted to describe. In experiments with this end in view, I have proceeded so far as, first, to control (when the bodily and mental health are good), the existence of the condition:- that is to say, I can now (unless when ill), be sure that the condition will supervene, if I so wish it, at the point of time already described: of its supervention until lately I could never be certain even under the most favorable circumstances. I mean to say, merely, that now I can be sure, when all circumstances are favorable, of the supervention of the condition, and feel even the capacity of inducing or compelling it:–the favorable circumstances, however, are not the less rare–else had I compelled already the Heaven into the Earth.

I have proceeded so far, secondly, as to prevent the lapse from the Point of which I speak–the point of blending between wakefulness and sleep–as to prevent at will, I say, the lapse from this border–ground into the dominion of sleep. Not that I can continue the condition–not that I can render the point more than a point–but that I can startle myself from the point into wakefulness; and thus transfer the point itself into the realm of Memory–convey its impressions, or more properly their recollections, to a situation where (although still for a very brief period) I can survey them with the eye of analysis.

For these reasons–that is to say, because I have been enabled to accomplish thus much–I do not altogether despair of embodying in words at least enough of the fancies in question to convey to certain classes of intellect, a shadowy conception of their character.

In saying this I am not to be understood as supposing that the fancies or psychal impressions to which I allude are confined to my individual self–are not, in a word, common to all mankind–for on this point it is quite impossible that I should form an opinion–but nothing can be more certain than that even a partial record of the impressions would startle the universal intellect of mankind, by the supremeness of the novelty of the material employed, and of its consequent suggestions. In a word–should I ever write a paper on this topic, the world will be compelled to acknowledge that, at last, I have done an original thing.

From MARGINALIA, Edgar Allen Poe, 1844-49

http://books.eserver.org/fiction/poe/marginalia.html

In this passage we see Poe’s passion for words.  Words and their ability to capture the essence of the human condition as well as the human capacity to think and experence in the physical, emotional and psychal realms.  Yet as powerful as words are they are only representatives of the thing itself.  Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase that the “Medium is the Message,” showing the ability of the medium to influence the message.  In the case of the written word, it is but a visual representation of the idea of the thing itself.  That is the limitation we see Poe referring to in the final paragraph, “but nothing can be more certain than that even a partial record of the impressions would startle the universal intellect of mankind, by the supremeness of the novelty of the material employed, and of its consequent suggestions. In a word–should I ever write a paper on this topic, the world will be compelled to acknowledge that, at last, I have done an original thing.”   That is the great limitation of words, they only have the ability to convey the shadow of the “fancies” or the impressions… and not convey the “fancies” or the experience of the impression itself.  Such a medium would do all Mr. Poe states it would, startling the universal intellect of mankind…. it would be truly a remarkable “original” thing.

So here sit I, attempting to use words as the means to convey who or what I am, think and experience, to an empty page.  In the attempt it dawns on me how our culture is influenced by our history and our shared experiences as well as the individual experiences others have shared with us.  Poe influences those who read him, such as Alan Parsons who conceptualized some of Poe’s works in music, thereby creating a new experience for our culture.  The experience is described with words but again we are limited to to a description and not the experience itself.   It is very frustrating to be given the richness of words (an advantage we have over mere animals) and yet be limited by that advantage to mere ablility to provide a commentary of the “fancies” and the experiences… and not the thing itself. 

So… Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

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Cyber-addiction

welcome to cyberspace, where reality is more real than…. well… reality.  Really, I mean it.  It’s really rather more real than than the real reality, so soon you will come to realize that this reality is really more real than you realize, so keep it real. Let me know if that was really confusing, or if in reality it was not really as confusing as you first realized.  Just to be clear on this, confusion in cyberspace is really real, so don’t let cyber reality confuse your view of real world confusion. O-key-doe-key?

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