Archive for the ‘IFB’ Category

If you believe this statement, “your pastor is more important than you are,” then you might be a cult member.

If you believe,the most important thing that goes on in church is preaching,” then you might be a cult member.

If you, “Teach your child that there is nothing more important in the world than a church service.” then you might be a cult member.

If you believe in order to please God : “You should also have a level of dress that is above your everyday fare. If you just said, “I don’t dress up for anybody”you have a serious pride problem. You think you’re too wonderful to have to humble yourself and admit that there could actually be someone in existence that is above you socially. There is! His name is “the LORD.” You should “put on your best” to go to church. 


Men: wear a dress shirt and tie. That’s right, a tie, even if it’s just a clip-on. God is more important than you! Dress up for Him.


Ladies: I don’t care if you think you have to dress like “Rosie-the-Riveter” during the week just to show how liberated you are, wear a dress to church. Why? Because even the God-hating world knows that a woman wears a dress when she dresses up.…

Then you might be a cult member.

If you believe this statement to be true: “The truth is that you just don’t think God is important enough to spend money on clothes for Him. But when your child is sick you’ll run right to Him and almost demand He jump up and fix him up. You’re special. God isn’t.Then you might be a cult member. 


Two words:  BULL GIPP

Folks take note “This is the very definition of a Fundamental Evangelist.” This is a successful evangelist because his agenda is to set the people straight on “How to behave in Church” and he exalts the so-called M-O-g to just one step shy of god-hood. This is what those so called “Pastors” want to hear preached to their people by the visiting Evangelist.

Bull Gipp knows how to manipulate the mere sheep in the pews so that they properly reverence their local deity. This cult activity is is built on the premise, “How can you worship god correctly if you don’t worship the man-o-gawd correctly?”  Notice the works sanctification that he preaches.  Notice the heritical, you have to be right with God in order for Him to Love you and Bless you.  It’s not who we are “in Christ” but what we do “for Christ” that justifies and sanctifies us according to Bull Gipp.

This is a perfect example of “Elmer Gantry-ism.”

And the sheeple have been so numbed by such poison as this, that they take it in and count themselves blessed to be in the presence of such annointed preaching and called™ men-o-gawd.  And all the mere pew dwellers said? …  B-U-L-L-L GIPP!

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Here are some bonafides regarding my fundy pedigree. In my posession are:

Rightly dividing the Word of Truth,” C.I. Scofield, Ten outline studies of the more important divisions of Scripture

A Mighty Wind,” Plain Papers on the Doctrine of the Holy Spirit, C.I. Scofield”

Dr. C.I. Scofields Question Box” 1917, Moody Bible Institute

Question #1″Is not the number of Israelites mentioned in Numbers 1:39 contradicted by the numer given elsewhere?

A: The number given in Numbers 1:39 is a mistranslation for which we cannot account, as both the Septuagint and Hebrew have 22,300. It is well to remember that seeming contradictions are often due to mistranslations.

Wonder how many KJV only folks would burn their Scofields knowing that bit of information?

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A Pair of Infamous School Administrators

Fundy Administrators

Fundy Administrators

Delores meet Jack… Jack meet Delores…. You have so much in common
I’m sure you will get along brilliantly!


Given the choice, I would rather attend Hogwarts

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(To the tune of “Thank God I am Free”)

For a long Time I Traveled, Down a Long Legal Road,
My Heart Was So Heavy, in rules I Sank Low.
Then I Heard About Jesus, What A Wonderful Hour.
I’m So Glad That I got out.
He brought the truth out, Through His sovereign Power.


Like A Bird Out Of Prison, That’s Taking It’s Flight.
Like A Blind Man That God, Gave Back His Sight.
Like The Poor Wretched Beggar,
that’s Found Fortune And Fame.
I’m So Glad That I got Out,
He brought the truth Out …Through His Holy Name.


Thank God I Am Free, Free, Free,
from the I-ye F B,
Remembered that I’m in Jesus,
not the Traditions of Men..
Hallelujah I’m Saved, Saved, Saved,
by His Wonderful Grace.
I’m So Glad That I got out,
He brought the truth Out…And Showed Me The Way

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I realize that to some I am a backslidden heathen… but it beats being “right” with the wrong god. (As in performance Christianity living up to someone else’s traditional rules)

I want to be a Christian in the world around me rather than be a cult member in a subculture that has separated itself from reality.

Instead of Christians being in the world showing true Christianity, there are bunkers called churches where the goal is to get as many in your bunker as you can and conform them to the group rules and regs.

Then one’s spirituality can be graded and measured by “what you do” and “how much you do.” Performance Christianity in other words, also called Works Sanctification. Grading in this system is based on “the appearance of evil”, “love not the world”, and one’s ability to not offend a weaker brother/sister. It’s a rather complicated system but it is based more on the outer appearance rather than the heart attitude.

If I offend folks’ sensitivities with my long hair, beard and whatever else is on their list of “Thou Shalt Not’s” w-e-l-l… too bad. Now if I cause someone else to sin and go against their own consciences before God… then…that IS a sin on my part. But if I shock someone’s Legalistic and traditional sensibilities, then it is solely their burden to bear, not mine.

I had (2) two reunions to attend this weekend. One was my family reunion and the other was with my classmates from 1980 who invited my class (’81) to celebrate with them. Somewhere in the midst of all the memories, reminiscing and reacquainting with old friends I realized that I had locked myself away in a bunker for all these years and had joined myself to a cult that no longer touched the world around us and no longer had an impact on the world and culture around us. That thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I had friends that I really enjoy being around, but I never felt I could be a real part of their lives because they were not part of my bunker’s subculture. A pox upon me for being a better cult member than I was a friend to those I was with day in and day out for so long.

For those who have regularly read my ranting and ravings you have seen my journey out of the bunker/cave/prison back to the real world. At times it has been an angry journey, and at times melancholy, and at times confused. Thank you all for putting up with me. To those who might think I am a backslidden heathen, you’ll get over it. (And since you do not know my heart before God… ’nuff said) I and my family are going to continue this journey along this path. God knows who we will come in contact with and what if any impact we may have on other’s lives. I want to be a friend to those around me and not just because they attend the same cave that I do. I want to be a friend and have friends that I can be around because they want me around warts, long hair, beard, my Christian testimony, my journey out of the cave and all.

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Want to increase your evangelism effectiveness?


Want to see an increase in the number of decisions you get each week?


Have we got a Program for you!


A Program for those who are serious about growing their church!

 …and don’t forget your breathmints

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Billy Sunday as: The Black Knight

Humm sounds vaguely familiar....

From the Land of Fundyism

Let’s quit fiddling with religion and do something to bring the world to Christ.

If you want to drive the devil out of the world, hit him with a cradle instead of a crutch.

I’m against sin.

I’ll kick it as long as I’ve got a foot, and I’ll fight it as long as I’ve got a fist.

I’ll butt it as long as I’ve got a head. I’ll bite it as long as I’ve got a tooth.

And when I’m old and fistless and footless and toothless, I’ll gum it till I go home to Glory and it goes home to perdition!”

Billy Sunday

“Go Git’em Billy!”

Elmer Gantry taken straight out of Billy’s playbook.

 Here’s the original! (begins @ 1:04)

Personally I thought Burt Lancaster did it better.

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Has anyone viewed the alter call as a typical cult trick?

What other “traditional” IFB routines are really mind/emotional control tactics?

Some of the answer is:

Altar calls are a modern manipulation started by Charles Finney in order to be able to make a head count so he would know how effective his manipulative techniques were. There is no “Altar” in a New Testament Church building. The Altar was where either an animal sacrifice was made or inscense was burned. There were no “Altar” calls practiced in the New Testiment Church until Finney started it. Finney did it solely to be able to get a head count of the “decisions” he had successfully brought about.
It has gotten harder to get people down to the “altar” so now all people are asked to do is raise their hands.

As for other mind control tricks, there is the whole range of rhetoric and falacious arguments from the pulpit, Ad Hominem, strawman arguments (here’s a list: http://www.don-lindsay-archive.org/skeptic/arguments.html#hominem ) most pastors are either religious Sophists or ignorant and unlearned men glorying in their ignorance and lack of education.

One of my favorite tricks is the pregnant pause…… and if the “preacher” does not get an immediate “Amen” or “Preach it Brother” then he will ask for one. And if he’s not getting enough “Amens” or “PIB’s” He will inject his own either with a “Amen?” or a “Now that’ll preach…” or “I don’t care if I am preaching, that deserves an ‘amen’!” These are subtle ways the “preacher” lets “his” congregation know that they need to appreciate his preaching more.

There is always the Immaculate Message announcement as the “self-anointed man of god” mounts the pulpit and stands behind the “sacred desk” and tells what an awful time he has had getting peace about what to preach, when all of a sudden that beautiful song by Sister Peaches Spandexburst  touched his heart and the Holy Spirit gave him the message. This sets up his message as god-breathed and prepares the audience to accept eveything he is about to say is infallable and directly from the throne of god. (kool-aide line forms on the right, bro Jim Jones will be serving today)

Can anyone think of some others?

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