Update (read: bragging)
Here we are 14 days into the New Year and yes, I am still at it.
For the new year I have decided to learn how to swim. (yes, I’m AARP eligible and just now learning to swim.)
I have had a couple of swim lessons and I haven’t drown yet. I’ve inhaled my share of highly chlorinated water… but not drowned yet. (I will probably die of chlorine poisoning… but not by drowning.)
This past week we found out at work that our per-ordered uniform allowances from 2013 were processed wrong so we had 15 days to re order. I did (and for the first time in 8 years I used every single penny of the allowance)… but there is a catch.
As of this moment I’m in 42 pants. Now the smart thing to do would be order 42′s right? Well… no one has accused me of being smart so what did I do? I ordered 40s and 38s. So… now I have to keep at it in order to fit in my new clothing allowance.
So here is the real reason for the update.
**Now let me preface this with some disclaimers:
I know that to the purists, machine mileage is not the same as “real” or “on the road” mileage. I further concede that my times are s-l-o-w compared to real runners and people who are in a shape other than round.
Having said that:
Tonight I was on Mistress Sadie’s cousin the Elliptical (name yet to be determined) and I did 95 minutes of the “Rolling Hills” program for a total of 7.31 miles. Again, that’s 7.31 miles. That’s averaging sub 13 minute miles. (12.99589603283174… but who’s counting, right?) which was 11770 strides on the elliptical.
Now the interesting part is, that is more than a 10k. (and again I realize that’s not “real” running… but still, it’s pretty darn impressive if you ask me! )
I’m going to have to get a shirt or a hat that says, “I’m Getting There”
Anyway… that’s the update, we now return you to your regularly scheduled surfing and lurking.
Posted in Exercise, Fitness, Gym, Health and Fitness, life, Thinking | Tagged BELIEF AND BEHAVIOUR, exercise, health and fitness, Life | Leave a Comment »
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! We are down to only three Mistress Sadies! They did some equipment changes at my Y, leaving only (3) three Sadies on premise. What would I do without my Sadie?
But on a positive note… I had committed to making November Cardio month and concentrating on that. I also made one of my goals to get 5 miles on Sadie?
We-l-l-l-l… tonight Mistress Sadie was hard on the old man. She demanded a lot out of me… but I rose to the occasion. Tonight we went all the way again and I lasted a full five minutes at her maximum effort (level 20),
And if that was not enough, tonight …..drum roll please…….
5.02 miles in 65 minutes baby! (yes that’s 13 min miles) Pretty good for a fat guy who didn’t like to exercise I’d say. Now, I know what you are thinking… but that’s on a piece of equipment so that’s not really running. I’ll grant you that it’s not the same dynamic as running outdoors on the road or on a track but Sadie has her own dynamics that require a different set of muscles and training. A mile on Sadie is still a mile, and 65 minutes at multiple settings, up to and including the max resistance, is nothing to sneeze at. (a-n-d… it was a 1062 calorie burn on Sadie as well.)
I’ll take the trade off, my joints not taking the pounding on the road for the challenge of the open strider.
Oh and to top things off, I tried out one of the new treadmills. I walked an additional .98 miles in 20 minutes playing around with the inclines and the TV channels. (another 200+ calories for that) That’s a total of 6 miles tonight. That’s almost a 10k. Wooop-Wooop!
All in all, I’d say it was a bang up start to my 4 day weekend.
I have been -”Quitter” Quit Free- for 454 days now.
Posted in Exercise, Fitness, Gym, Health and Fitness, Livable philosophy, Worldviews | Tagged Attitude and Life, Battle of the Bulge, BELIEF AND BEHAVIOUR, exercise, health and fitness | Leave a Comment »
Ok, now for some good news.
It’s the little things these days, which bring me joy.
This time last year, along with the tight pants I had a shirt issue as well.
When I looked down I had gap disease. You know the “pucker” effect that a tight shirt will produce around the buttons? Where there just isn’t enough material to line up the button rows. Large breastses and moobies will cause that same problem. Well, I was infected with it. My shirts were eat up with button strain.
My belly was at maximum expansion in some of my shirts and the pressures on some of my buttons had reached critical mass. I even had to take out extra Ralphie Insurance just in-case a button fired off and shot someone’s eye out. Breathing deep might have caused a rapid fire burst sending buttons down range to do major damage.
However, today, I noticed that not only do my buttons now line-up, but there is breathing room inside the shirt. In fact, the shirts now fit loosely around my belly. I noticed my moobs are on the decline as well. My shirt pockets no longer arrive in a room five minutes before the hip pockets. And, an added plus is that I can no longer pass the pencil test. (meaning my moobies no longer sag and hang over my belly)
It’s the little things that keep me going, and today it was startling to realize that my shirts actually have breathing room… you know…. while I am wearing them!
We now return you to your previously scheduled surfing.
Posted in Comedy, Fitness, Gym, life, lollapalooza | Tagged health and fitness, Life, Ralphie Insurance, The incredible Shrinking man | Leave a Comment »
Last night I had two Poblamo peppers (out of the garden) stuffed with three cheeses. Cheddar, White cheese sauce and Pepper Jack… enough heat to get my nose to running. (of course lunch was sushi and wasabi mmmm, the wasabi and ginger brought tears to my eyes… it was soooo good) So, the peppers were merely to bookend an already spicy day.
Now, I thought that maybe being able to step out of the 44′s from the other night might have been wishful thinking on my part… Au contraire, mon frère. Yesterday afternoon I wanted to install an odometer on my bike but I was feeling lazy so I just threw on a pair of shorts without a belt. They are 46s and I wrestled with them all afternoon trying to keep them “up.”
(stay with me and I’ll tie those two random stories together)
So, all afternoon I had been wrestling with my pants because I was too lazy to get a belt and put it on. After much gyrating and “hiking” my shorts into position, I finally finished the odometer installation. A little later, I felt a twinge of hunger so I began fixing my dinner. Preparing dinner was a “Keystone Cops” process last night as I waddled back and forth between the computer and the oven, checking the time and the condition of the peppers and surfing the interwebz. I alternately looked like a hip-hop, saggy-pants, gangsta’ and “Dorf on Cooking.” I swear, one time I even looked like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins during the penguin scene.
Anyway, the peppers were finally done and I sat down to eat. Yes, they were very good! I “can” cook when I take a mind to. Afterwards, I cleared the table and put everything away in the sink. My nose was running just a little from the heat of the meal so I grabbed a paper towel and stepped into the utility room to blow my nose. I reached up with both hands and trumpeted a hearty Bb.
When I did…
…my (46) shorts fell straight down and landed on my feet around my ankles. Very glad I didn’t go blow my nose in the living room! So, there I was, with my pants on the floor …but my sinuses were clear.
Sometimes I crack myself up!
There’s no real moral to the story… I really just wanted to brag on my disappearing waistline.
Posted in Comedy, Exercise, Fitness, Gym, Just Thinking, life, logorrea, lollapalooza, Thinking | Tagged a big loser, BELIEF AND BEHAVIOUR, losing weight, Programming, thinking, waistline | Leave a Comment »